Photo and blog by Sharman Dow
A boundary is something that creates a fixed limit, which is similar to that of a fence being built around a piece of property. It also can be a line that divides two objects from one another and causes a separation. To you personally, a boundary is a form of protection and a shield that is a way of guarding yourself in your relationships with your thoughts and actions. It’s a more commonly used term today than it was just a few decades ago, because our culture is more aware of the need to set boundaries in our business and personal life.
Creating boundaries in your life can have a positive impact on your success, but you first must understand who you are before God and know your limits. When you have set parameters in your relationships or particular forms of your behavior and lifestyle, you will be able to live a more disciplined life that will bring healthy relationships into your daily living. In the process, you will become a more successful person.
Lack of Boundaries Can Hinder Career Success
It’s easy for all of us to let our boundary lines get mixed up and lose our ability to distinguish the right thing to do for ourselves. I have a good friend who became so close to her employer that she passed on many opportunities when it came time for her to move up in her career because she did not know how to break away. There were no boundaries set in their employer-employee relationship.
It was a wonderful and caring relationship built on friendship – great for her personal life. But when it came time for a raise or getting more benefits, the employer used the personal relationship to tug on her emotions and keep her employment at a status quo. If my friend had established boundaries in the relationship from the start, then it would have been much easier for her to achieve her goals and leave her employer when it was time to move on and move up. Fortunately, she finally did break away from her employer, but not without much distress and turmoil in the relationship. Boundaries would have prevented this from happening. Setting boundaries help create positive and healthy relationships in both your personal and professional life.
Establishing Boundaries in Your Personal Life
Boundaries are also important in regard to the things you do each day. Simple things like the movies you go to, the television shows you watch or books you read should have boundaries. I once mentored a young woman who was obsessed with anything that had to do with vampires. She could not get enough of vampire stories into her life. However, it just took a few months before she was experiencing deep emotional anxiety and fear of many things. Once we determined the source of her anxious feelings was her obsession with vampires, I had her cleanse her home of all movies and literature relating to vampires.
This young woman had not previously set any boundaries in her life when it came to the movies or television shows she watched or the books she read. Because of her lack of boundaries in what she allowed herself to watch or read, she experienced many negative emotions. Once she cleansed her home of the negative temptations to watch or read things on vampires, her anxiety disappeared. Imagine that – by setting boundaries she created more positive life experiences and her anxious dreadful feelings disappeared.
Become the Gate Keeper of Your Life
In ancient times the person who protected the city from their enemies was called the Gate Keeper. This Gate Keeper stood watch at the gate and would not allow any stranger or enemy to pass through without first confirming they were a friend or foe. A boundary for the city was set, and it was the Gate Keeper’s job to manage all the incoming people. The concept of a Gate Keeper is a good analogy to demonstrate the importance of setting boundaries and becoming the Gate Keeper to your mind, home, relationships – and especially your business career. Are you a Gate Keeper who stands guard over the boundaries you have placed in your life?
Setting boundaries in your life will create winning relationships that are healthy and call success into your life. Remember you are the only Gate Keeper for the boundaries you have placed. Empower yourself and set boundaries!
Sharman Dow is the founder of the Empower Women’s Conference.
