Blog by Sharman Dow
Life is not fair, but it does not mean you can’t be! Developing fairness is having the ability to eliminate your own feelings, prejudices and desires to achieve a balanced approach to conflicting interests. It’s being objective and possessing the character trait of being impartial to opposing parties. When you are fair you have the ability to be open minded and create peace when others are at odds. It often implies a coolness and control within oneself that stresses a tendency to view events or persons apart from your own wishes – especially when you want to win. Being a fair person makes you trustworthy, genuine and your opinions get legitimized. It will help you in your career, because it supports you in getting along with your peers and you will be perceived as being honest and not a cheater.
Fairness comes in many forms each day to us – in giving others the right to speak their mind or letting them have their way when it does not compromise your values. It also means you are fair when competing against someone in a game or business competition. It’s okay to have an opinion and stand firm in that belief, but when you are fair you have the ability to listen, evaluate, analyze and judge things based on truth. Being fair allows you to be open minded and willing to listen to the other party’s viewpoint, without compromising your values.
A good example of someone who, for the most part, is fair is a referee at a contact sport, such as football. A referee goes by the rules and not on their own feelings. The rules become their guideline to make a fair decision, which for you only clarifies the need to have convictions or principles on which to stand firm. Your convictions become your guideline to being fair.
When others have a grievance are you able to be fair? Especially if you are competing with them in a game or against them in a business pursuit? I have found in business it’s important to be honest and fair, otherwise you will lose your credibility with your peers, clients or prospects. Sometimes a competitor will attack your character and attempt to diminish your abilities and talent. This sometimes can happen in your business career, because no one likes to lose or look bad to others.
Have you ever noticed someone in your office who will do anything to win, including cheating or lying? I used to know a senior advisor that would say or do whatever it took to accomplish his end goal of winning. People like this will never win in the end, because they sold their soul to get there.
In biblical history a person who was not treated fair was Joseph, the favored son of Israel – his father. Out of jealousy his brothers threw him into a ditch and sold him off as a slave, then told their father he was murdered. When he was a slave he was falsely accused of committing adultery with his master’s wife. When he was in prison for being falsely accused of adultery, he was forgotten by the chief butler who could have helped him get out sooner than later.
Finally, favor came to Joseph and he ultimately became the governor in charge over all of Egypt’s food supply. When it came time for him to bring judgment upon his brothers, who caused him years of hardship, he was fair in dealing with them. Instead of seeking revenge, he forgave them and stated, “It was not you who sent me here, but God.” Joseph could see the bigger picture and was able to be not only fair, but forgiving.
In your life, are you able to be fair and see the bigger picture? Maybe things don’t always go your way, but are you able to still be open minded and fair about matters? Developing fairness will make you a better person and being able to see things from God’s perspective. Empower yourself today and develop a spirit of fairness!
Sharman Dow is the founder of the Empower Women’s Conference.
