Photo and blog by Sharman Dow
“You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings”
-Pearl S. Buck
1892-1973 American Writer, Nobel Prize Winner
So simply said with such profound meaning. Yet we find ourselves so often caught in allowing our feelings to control our actions. How many times have we gone along with the crowd? Or, taken the easy road because something feels right? But in the end, when all is said and done, we know in our hearts the heaviness we feel is our conscience crying out in despair, “Why did I say that? Why did I do that? It’s not really me.”
This is especially true for women. No greater place do we experience it than in our workplace and business profession. How many times have we gossiped or torn down another woman co-worker? Or, reacted in a negative way toward what other women have accomplished? Do we speak out and say our thoughts without controlling our tongue and emotions? So often we allow our feelings to control our thoughts. We behave in a manner that lowers our own self-esteem, not to mention what other co-workers think of us.
When was the last time you hesitated or paused to put your negative thoughts on hold for a time, in spite of your feelings? It would take a concerted effort to rehearse in your mind lovely thoughts instead of allowing the natural tendency of anger, jealousy and malice to protrude from your lips. Is it possible for you to meditate on those things that are pure, honest, noble and just?
Putting your feelings on the back burner and raising the bar of your thoughts to a new level will only increase your success. In grade school, we all learned that if you can’t say something nice about another person, then don’t say anything at all. Now take this to a new level and meditate only on the positive with a sense of expectancy. What will happen is a better woman will come forth.
I know from my own experience that I have been both the perpetrator and the victim. And, frankly speaking, being the object of someone’s nasty words is hurtful and cruel. No one should have to experience such behavior from you!! Being a perpetrator gives no real satisfaction and only causes negative attitudes and thoughts to dissuade our success. When I examined my words and realized the source of my negative feelings toward another woman, it all stemmed down to my own insecurity.
Did you hear what I just said?
“It all stemmed down to my OWN insecurity.”
To make ourselves feel good, we often will put others down. When I realized this was the source of my negative actions I determined to change my thinking.
Why not start today and look at our business sisters in a different light? After all, we are women and hold a remarkable ability to accomplish great things. Doing what is right in spite of our feelings gives us a unique capacity to overcome adversity and failure and, in the workplace, achieve the success we so desire. Let us start to admire one another for our accomplishments and say to ourselves, “If she can do it, then why can’t I?” There is nothing that can hold us back when a right attitude is built within our inner thoughts, in spite of our feelings.
By renewing your mind with positive thoughts towards another’s accomplishments, you will find your actions will follow, and the success you so desire will become a reality. As women, we have the ability within us to react positively and position ourselves for success.
Go for it, and learn that in spite of your feelings you can do the right thing!!!
Sharman Dow is the founder of the Empower Women’s Conference, coming October 22nd to Orange County. Register today!
